Pastor’s Blog 12.10.19

Tonight I am going to continue the series on understanding temperaments. I cannot overemphasize how important it is to have the understanding of self-awareness. There is such freedom in seeing from the side of this truth.

The step past self-awareness is self-transcendence. Psychologists have stated this is the ultimate wisdom for human interaction. When I am self-transcendent, I have a knowledge of my own weaknesses and strengths and can engage with others in an open arena, which in psychology means; “I know, you know”. The blind spot is; “You know I don’t know”. The façade or mask is; “I know, you don’t know.” Unknown is of course; “I don’t know, you don’t know.” This is called the Johari window and was developed in 1955 by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham.

Luke 16:8
8 So the master commended the unjust steward because he had dealt shrewdly. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light.

Psychology is the study of man, we need to use “every tool in the shed” to maintain successful relationships. Just as Christians should use the newest medical research information to combat sickness and disease, we should use the research in psychology in the effort to “restore our souls” and get along. One of the manifestations of the curse of poverty is to not have the understanding of self-awareness and not having the ability to articulate our relational conflicts. This often results in broken covenants of friendship, marriages, church memberships, employment etc. The church should manifest the greatest ability to “get along” of any institution in the world! Sadly, this is not the case.

The New Testament teaches us to live in the open arena of transparency but few actually do. In reality, the majority of teaching in the Epistles is about getting along and what it means to walk in the love of God and the character of God. There is such a peace that comes in open honest relationships, and becoming self-aware and self-transcendent is the way to begin this process. Being aware of our own temperament and weaknesses helps us to yield when we need to. I don’t have to have my way all the time and I need to be aware of when I am being unreasonable and why.

The old saying about relationships is so true, “you might be right, but lonely.” So many are isolated, living in a false narrative of why everyone else did them wrong instead of seeing the truth. What is so important to me is not that important to you for a reason. I need to be able to live with the “give and take” of relationships, or I will be lonely. I don’t want to be “one way Dave” and I’m sure you don’t either. I can rest in relationships when I understand that different people have different priorities for a reason and together we are better!

Romans 12:16-18
16 Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits. [Prov 3:7.]
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone. [Prov 20:22.]
18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Be blessed!